Listen to your baby and listen to yourself

There are no rules for how often a baby should be breastfed. On the other hand, there are many opinions on this. Both from different professional groups, parents, grandparents, Google and your circle of friends. As always, I would like to remind you that you and your partner are the ones who know your child best. We live in a time when it is so infinitely easy to seek knowledge and guidance outside ourselves. The security of having others tell us what we should and shouldn't do - also when it comes to our children. But dear you, as a midwife, a woman in midlife and as a mother of big teenagers, I dare to promise you that you and you will land in a completely different and much deeper security when you distance yourself from Google and all the many different, albeit well-meaning, advice and relate to your child. Regardless of your baby's age, he/she will communicate and show his/her need for breastfeeding. Both when, how often and how long baby needs to breastfeed.

Breastfeeding meets multiple needs

It is important to know that breastfeeding meets a number of different needs for the child - regardless of age. On the one hand, breastfeeding covers the obvious need for food and fluids. But also, among other things, the need to regulate the nervous system, calm down, be comfortable, be comforted and seek security. How long breastfeeding takes can therefore vary depending on whether breastfeeding is about regular hunger, comfort hunger or, for example, to be comforted.

Hooray for free milk bars!

In the past, it was very important that babies were breastfed every 3 hours. Today we know that free milk is much better. That is, free access to the breast at all hours of the day. Babies are born without a rhythm. Some breastfeed often, others less. Most babies have appetite spikes as they grow. Days when they come to the breast more frequently to increase milk production, so that it matches the baby's greater nutritional needs. It is also normal for there to be differences in how often babies breastfeed during the day. And this is the case with breastfeeding: There are differences in the frequency and duration of breastfeeding - and no two breastfeeding sessions are the same. Therefore, comparison can only be used to beat yourself up, and that does no good.

Rules of thumb

At the same time, many people are asking for very specific rules of thumb, so here are a few:

• Baby should have free access to the breast 24/7
• Baby is put to the breast when there are signs of hunger or other needs
• Baby should eat at least 8 times a day - and it is also completely normal to breastfeed more than twice that many times a day.
• Baby should have enough nutrition - you can tell if baby is getting enough by looking at baby's general well-being (including whether baby is awake and happy/satisfied between naps, whether baby wakes up on his own from naps, whether baby latches on to the breast) and by keeping an eye on the diaper. The number of times baby has to urinate per day increases as baby gets older. There is also a development in baby's stool as baby's intestinal system matures, milk comes in and changes during breastfeeding. The Danish Health Authority has made a really nice booklet that visually and easily shows what a diaper should look like, in relation to baby's age. See the booklet here
• It can be safe for the nursing brain to have a piece of paper lying around and draw a line every time you breastfeed. Often the day can flow together and it can be difficult to remember whether you have breastfed the minimum 8 times a day. In my experience, most mothers are surprised to see black and white, where many times a day, they breastfeed, and at the same time it gives peace of mind to know that you are fully involved in the number of breastfeedings.

If you ask mothers of 4-5 month old babies, they will report that they breastfeed between 5-20 times a day. So there is a great deal of variation in how often babies need to be breastfed. And there is a great deal of variation from breastfeed to breastfeed. Is it a main course or a dessert - and thus a potential need to breastfeed again soon? Or is there a need for reassurance? The sucking technique and the mother's well-being also have something to say in relation to the amount of milk. (Read the article on increasing milk production here ). The same goes for the size of the breasts, as large breasts have a greater storage capacity than smaller breasts. So women with small breasts often breastfeed more often than women with large breasts - and YES all sizes of breasts can fully breastfeed babies 🙂

So dear! Look at your child, spend time getting to know his signals. Nourish yourself, thereby nourishing your milk production and you can keep the milk bar open 24-7. Your baby shows his needs. Then it is your job to interpret them and act on them - and here it is important to remember that practice makes perfect. AND that you, like me and everyone else, are absolutely perfect imperfect!