Hospital bed or feeding bag – what should you pack?

A hospital bag or maternity bag. Dear child has many names. And many people have an opinion about what should be in the bag - me too 😉 I often see suggestions for packing lists with all sorts of, in my opinion, unnecessary things and things. And at the same time, there will be some who think the same about my suggestion for a packing list. And that's life: you can't know 100% in advance what you will need. Still, try to think about it and feel it. Both you as a pregnant woman and you as a partner. What do you imagine you might need and want during the birth and in the hours/first days after? And just as important: What makes you feel safe? These are important and central questions when it comes to packing the maternity bag - and in general in relation to preparing for the birth together.

Some know in advance that they will have to stay 1-2 nights in the hospital after giving birth.
Others should expect to be sent home a few hours after the birth – and even then it's good to have packed a little extra, in case you have to stay. No partner wants to have to rush home and get extra within the first day after the birth.

And then there are those of you who are planning a home birth. Here I would also recommend that you pack a birth bag. Again, just in case you are transferred.

Having a maternity bag packed that meets your needs provides a very special sense of security. And security is essential - both in the last part of pregnancy, during birth and in the hours and days after birth.

I recommend that you pack your bag so that it is ready when you reach your due date, i.e. at week 37+0 of pregnancy. And I recommend that you pack your maternity bag together. No one should guess at each other's needs. You have a shared responsibility to help make sure you all have the right things. Packing your maternity bag is part of the nest building process before the addition of your family and can lead to good and important conversations.

This is my suggestion for a packing list for the maternity bag:

For mom 's hospital bag

Loose shirt/large t-shirt to wear during labor

You will be warm during labor and few people want to wear 'normal' clothes, while many feel safe having their breasts and crotch covered when moving around the delivery room. It is best to wear something loose and oversized, for example from your local thrift store.

Wool socks

Warm feet make labors better. That's just the way it is. I have given birth many times to naked women wearing only warm socks – both in Denmark and in Tanzania, so I recommend that you put a set of warm wool socks in your hospital bag.

Toiletry bag

If everything about the birth is normal and uncomplicated, you will likely be sent home 4-8 hours after the birth. Sometimes 1-2 nights are necessary. It is not always possible to know in advance, so pack what you may need in your toiletry bag. (Towels and bed linen are provided at the hospital)

Hair elastic

If you have hair that can be put up, I dare say you will love hair ties. Because labor pains bring warmth - even in the neck.

Lip balm

It is normal to have very dry lips from labor panting. Being able to apply lip balm during labor is a great self-care tip (your midwife and maybe your partner will help you remember this along the way).

Comfortable breastfeeding-friendly clothes for after birth

Think again that you may have to stay 1-2 nights. Therefore, I recommend that you remember to put the following in your hospital bag.
Underwear (remember there must be room for large postpartum pads – they have pads at the hospital) You can find hospital and postpartum panties here
stockings,
pants,
blouses or dresses depending on the season.
Sweater.
Any outerwear.
Possibly Carriwell nursing bras that you can find here

Optional slippers

Playlists

Whether you think you will find joy in music during labor or not, I would recommend that you create 2 playlists. One that can support relaxation and one that can support physical movement and more activity, a kind of “work playlist.”

Mobile charger

Remember to bring a mobile phone charger in your hospital bag.

Optional speaker and charger for it

An average first birth takes 18 hours from the time you are in active labor, i.e. 3-4 cm dilated, until you give birth. Few speakers can last that long.

Reassurance-creating elements

Safety is the most important ingredient in a birth, so notice what makes you feel safe. You can bring most things with you. I have seen examples of giant teddy bears, soft blankets, your own pillow, a picture of your cat, a singing bowl, a drawing from your oldest child, string lights, LED candles, prayer rugs, bedspreads, flowers, crystals and much more. The only things you are not allowed to bring are: Open flames (regular candles), plants with soil, live animals, scented items - e.g. incense or fragrance diffusers. Beyond that, only your imagination and the space in your luggage set the limits for creating homely comfort and safety.

Post-it notes

I always recommend having your loved ones write supportive, encouraging, and loving messages on post-it notes and keep them in your hospital bag for your partner to hang around the delivery room. Many times I have seen women in labor be touched and empowered when they see a message from a loved one.

You may have some mantras (phrases that make sense to you to repeat over and over again in your head). If so, it might be good to write them down and hang them up so that the midwife and your partner can support you in using them. For example, these could be phrases like:

My body is wise. I trust it.

I can, I will, I will do it.

Dear body, we're in this together. I'm with you.

or something completely 4. that feels right to you. There is no right or wrong here.

Snacks and drinks

As a woman in labor, you are not hungry, but snacks can add quick energy to the great physical work of giving birth. It should be something you can eat quickly between contractions. Sweets are not so smart. Chocolate, energy bars, muesli bars, dextrose, candy, etc. And then something sugary to drink. In several of the country's birthing centers, soda has been spared. You can get water with ice cubes.

Please bring your own juice in your hospital bag.

I have only met a few times women in labor who wanted something fizzy during labor.

Travel journal, health insurance certificate

Keep it at the top of your hospital bag so it's quick and easy for your midwife to find.

Letter to the midwife

It is always my recommendation that you write a letter to the midwife together, where you briefly and clearly describe your wishes, limits and hopes for the birth. Maybe it is important to you that there is dim lighting when the baby is born. Or maybe you, as a woman in labor, would like to be in water. Maybe you, as a partner, are afraid of blood. It may be that you, as a woman in labor, hate being cuddled. Maybe you, as a new mother, do not want the injection of oxytocin that is recommended by the birth center in order to minimize bleeding after birth. Maybe you, as a partner, want to be involved in welcoming the baby.

There can be many wishes. And people's limits are different. The more clearly and precisely you describe your limits and wishes, the better and faster the midwife can take this as a starting point. you. So it is for mutual benefit, with a letter to the midwife. Some also call it a wish list – it is just important to remember that it is not certain that all wishes can be fulfilled. Always be open to what birth offers.

For the partner 's hospital bag

Entertainment

A lot of women get provoked when I mention it. But hey, it is It is often a real challenge for the partner to stay awake for hours. Most births involve at least 1 night and many hours of labor breathing and relaxing music, so most tricks apply to staying awake. A book, a magazine, sudoku, podcast/audio book in headphones etc.

Toiletry bag

Make sure you have plenty of toothpaste in your hospital bag. Your woman will appreciate you brushing her teeth a few times during labor. Women in labor are more sensitive to smells than pregnant women, and most partners get a whiff of dragon breath when they are in their 16th hour supporting a woman in labor. Also, pack what you need for 1-2 overnight stays in your hospital bag.

Change of clothes

Even if you are sent home after the birth, it can be nice to be able to change your blouse after the birth. Maybe you have been on your feet for a day. There is no telling whether you will have to stay in the hospital for 1-2 nights after the birth, so pack some extra clothes in your hospital bag. Think about whether you are okay with throwing away your blouse after the birth and sitting skin-to-skin with your baby bare-chested, or whether you would rather wear a shirt that can be unbuttoned. Skin-to-skin is a total win-win for both you and baby in terms of bonding and many other good and nutritious things.

Lunchbox

Yes, you should bring a packed lunch for about 18 hours, which is the average length of a first-time birth, from the time the woman is 3-4 cm dilated until she gives birth. You should not expect to be able to go out and get food. And there is no possibility of getting food in a refrigerator either. Hard-boiled eggs, frozen sausage rolls that can be left to thaw, bananas, almonds, carrots, hummus, fruit, protein bars, rye bread sandwiches are some suggestions. You cannot survive an average-length birth on snacks alone. Too often I have seen partners faint during labor due to low blood sugar. You do not want that

Chewing gum/fresh mouth

That's the thing about dragon breath and smell-sensitive mothers, so remember to bring something fresh for your mouth in your hospital bag.

Snacks

As a supplement to the packed lunch, don't skimp on snacks. If they aren't eaten during labor, they will probably be eaten in the days after. Let me be honest, snacks for your partner are also a way to stay awake. Chips are not that popular because they are noisy and can bother the woman in labor. Candy, chocolate, sweets, etc. are great. Optional dextrose

Beverages

There is water and coffee in the delivery room. Very few birthing centers have juice these days. So bring your own juice, favorite tea bags or soda in your hospital bag - again, it's about energy for many hours during labor. And not least about continuing to have energy in the hours after birth.

Post-it notes

Just like for the person giving birth, I always recommend that you as a partner ask your near and dear ones to write you supportive and encouraging little messages that you can hang up around the delivery room. It is simply wonderful to see the smile in the eyes of a partner who sees a loving message from a friend or family member!

Reassurance-creating elements

What can make you feel safe in the delivery room? Do you love LED candles? Or your dad's shirt? A photo of you and your brother or something totally 4. Read under the same point above 'for mom' if you like

Optional camera and charger/battery

Mobile charger

You can't count on the delivery room to come to your rescue if you forget your mobile phone chargers. It's better to buy an extra one to keep ready in your hospital bag.

Letter to the midwife

Remember to write your wishes, limits, etc. down in the letter to the midwife - see the same point further up under 'to the mother' and make sure yours is at the top of your hospital bag together with the medical record and health insurance card, so it is easy to access.

For baby 's hospital bag

Child seat

It may not be easy to put in your hospital bag, but it will be necessary to have it with you when you return home with your little one.

Clothing according to the season

Think in layers and preferably 4-5 sets if it is important to you that your baby has his own clothes if you have to stay overnight in the hospital. Some people only put their baby clothes on when they go home because they want maximum skin-to-skin contact for the first time. Some newborns make a lot of poop, which can smoke next to the diaper, hence the good thing about bringing several sets of clothes. Please note that the hospital has diapers.

Remember to wear outerwear according to the season - again, layers are good. A newborn should not get cold, as this can affect their breathing. If the baby feels dry and warm around the neck, then the baby has the perfect temperature. All newborns benefit from a thin hat on the way home from the hospital, as they lose most heat from their head.

Baby duvet + cover and possibly blanket

Again, it depends on the season how much baby needs to be swaddled and wrapped, both indoors and outdoors.

A pair of cloth diapers

As long as you are hospitalized, it may be nice to be prepared with a cloth diaper for burps or similar on the way home.

Especially in the case of a planned cesarean section

Flag

Everything goes a little faster with a cesarean section, even when it is planned. There is less time with the midwife and the service goes a little faster. Therefore, the staff may forget to put a flag on the tray after the cesarean section. Many women get upset about this. They had been looking forward to the celebration that comes with a flag. Therefore, pack a small table flag that you can put up yourself.

Letter to the midwife

As I have described further up under 'to the mother', I always recommend writing a letter to the midwife. This also applies when the birth takes place through the abdomen, i.e. by caesarean section. You may still have wishes and limits that are important for you to express, and nice for the midwife to know. Remember to give the letter to the midwife

Any music that can be played from the mobile phone

It is a good idea to have a playlist ready that can help you relax as much as possible during your cesarean section. You can easily place a mobile phone that is playing close to your head during the cesarean section itself. Some operating rooms allow you to have a smaller speaker with you.

Mobile as a camera/camera

For those of you who are partners at a caesarean section, remember to put your camera or mobile phone in your pocket so you can take some pictures right after the caesarean section. This will be worth its weight in gold for all of you later - not least for you as a new mother, who may not remember everything from the operating room. Most anesthetist nurses are also usually nice enough to want to take a few pictures of you together right after the baby is delivered.

-With a planned caesarean section, you know that you will have to stay and spend 1-2 nights. Therefore, see the above packing advice for you as a woman and you as a partner.

You may want to leave some of your things in the car during the birth itself, such as your change of clothes and baby's things.

Mental and psychological

There is one more thing that is SO incredibly important to “pack” for the birth.

It is your mental and psychological preparation for birth - whether it is a vaginal birth or a planned cesarean section.

Read, listen to podcasts, watch YouTube videos of normal births and cesarean sections if you are going to have a planned cesarean section, go to birth preparation, book a private midwife like me or my colleagues around the country.

Talk about your wishes, different roles, expectations - both for the birth and for each other. Talk about your limits, any things you are afraid of or insecure about. Agree that you as a partner are ready to be a spokesperson for the woman in labor if she does not have the energy herself. If necessary, agree on a stop sign that the woman in labor can show, and that you as a partner can read and say to the midwife.

The stronger you stand as a well-prepared couple, the safer you both are. And safety gives better labor, which in turn promotes natural, uncomplicated birth. And yes, dear partner, your safety is also important. We know that the more safe you are as a partner, the more safe your woman is. And then your safe presence is also pain relief in itself.

So... it's always a good idea to prepare and have some good conversations about birth and really notice and listen to both yourself and each other.

I can certainly help you with what to pack in your maternity bag. But back to the beginning: The most important thing is security. The best way to get that is to prepare yourself. Together.

I'm rooting for you as the wonderful birth team you are! And remember, you're always welcome to reach out to me.

Most affectionately

Siff Stephenson, HeartMidwife