Breastfeeding shouldn't hurt.

Breastfeeding shouldn't hurt. Period. If your breastfeeding hurts, it's your body's way of letting you know that something is wrong. There are several things that can play a role. For example, baby's sucking technique, breastfeeding position and possibly baby's tongue, lip and jawbone or baby's neck if the birth was quick, was done with a vacuum or by caesarean section - in which case I recommend that baby be checked by a skilled osteopath. If you hear someone asking when breastfeeding stops hurting, the message is that it shouldn't hurt at all!

It is simply a myth that breastfeeding hurts. And it is also a myth that nipples need to be hardened. We women are made to breastfeed, and babies are made to be able to breastfeed. From there it is learning by doing. And to remember that in the vast majority of cases, practice makes perfect - both for mother and baby AND that it can easily take a month or more to establish a well-functioning breastfeeding.

If this is your first time breastfeeding, it is a completely new bodily experience when baby creates the correct vacuum around your nipple. It can feel super intense and…. like when a dairy cow gets a milking machine attached. Of course I don't know what that feels like, but most women understand and can relate to the description. So there is a difference between the experience of an intense vacuum, where you may have to count to 10 very slowly before the intensity decreases, and then it really hurts.

If it hurts when you put your baby to sleep, put your little finger in the corner of the baby's mouth and puncture the vacuum and start putting baby to sleep again. Remember this important basic knowledge regarding breastfeeding positions and baby's position:

Sitting breastfeeding positions

• When breastfeeding in a seated position, it is important that you, as a woman, have your feet flat on the floor and good support in your back. The better you sit, the more relaxed you are and the easier it is for your baby to latch on correctly to the breast.
• Take a minute or two to get comfortable - even if baby is crying. Talk to baby while you do this: “I hear you, I’m getting comfortable, and then you’ll get the breast.”
• It is important that the baby comes up to the breast and not the other way around. There is a big difference in the size and length of breasts. Some women benefit from a nursing pillow to support the baby. Others need a couple of large sofa cushions or a folded duvet to help get the baby up to the breast.
• Regardless of the breastfeeding position, baby should lie with his stomach against your body when he is breastfeeding. And with his arms on either side of your breast. If baby lies with one of his arms in front of him or lies slightly with his side towards you, baby will easily pull on your nipple, which can cause tears or sores and thus hurt.
• Baby should be placed with his nose next to the nipple. This means baby has to tilt his head back to get a hold of the nipple. This allows baby to yawn loudly and get a lot of the breast into his mouth (not just the nipple), which is important to avoid sucking too much and causing tears or sores in the nipple.
• Baby's chin should touch the breast for the same reason as above
• As a breastfeeding woman, it can be difficult to see if your baby is latching on properly. It can be tempting to press on your breast with a couple of fingers to get a better look. Some people also want to press on your breast because they are afraid that your baby won't be able to get air. You shouldn't press on your breast. If your baby can't get air, your baby will let go of your breast. When you press on your breast, you block the milk ducts AND you can pull on your nipple, which can cause sores and cracks.
• Ask your partner to watch and help you and baby to lie/sit well and breastfeed correctly. If you are a single mother, a mirror can be helpful to see better until breastfeeding is well established.

Lying-down breastfeeding positions

Here it is also important that the baby lies with his/her stomach against your body, has his/her arms on either side of your chest and is positioned with his/her nose facing the nipple. It can be smart to place a pillow or something behind the baby's back so that the baby does not turn his/her body during the feeding and thus pull on the nipple, which can cause tears or sores. It is important that you do not place anything behind the baby's head. He/she should be able to move his/her head freely.

If your breastfeeding hurts, then this applies not about enduring, but about reacting and possibly seeking qualified breastfeeding help. It's not about how long it hurts, but about why It hurts. Often, incorrect sucking technique or breastfeeding position can be corrected in a single visit by a knowledgeable nursing assistant.

I wish you a pain-free and happy breastfeeding period. Know that I'm rooting for you!