You as a partner are the most important support when it comes to breastfeeding.

Yes, you read that right. You as a partner are very important. Many partners mistakenly believe that they cannot help with breastfeeding. Some even wallow in frustration or irritation about it. But not anymore! Because soon you will understand how important you are in relation to breastfeeding your child.

Your attitude affects the breastfeeding process

First and foremost, you should know that your attitude towards breastfeeding has a great impact on how your child's breastfeeding goes. If you are against your child being breastfed, or you find it difficult, it will affect the breastfeeding process. Maybe you have doubts about 'project breastfeeding'? Or maybe you are totally pro breastfeeding and have a basic confidence that it will go smoothly.

What we focus on becomes reality. If you have doubts about breastfeeding, be researching where your doubts come from. And discuss your doubts with the consulting midwife and/or health visitor. I would recommend that you refrain from 'marinating' your pregnant woman or new mother with your doubts. She is full of emotions and hormones - and perhaps also of worries and thoughts. We will not help her with your doubts. Instead, immerse yourself in breastfeeding. Read, listen to podcasts, participate in breastfeeding education or other things so that you are well-equipped. This will show your woman that you are committed, researching and outreaching - even if you have doubts.

If you don't believe in 'project breastfeeding' at all, then be honest with yourself about why. Do you have experience from a breastfeeding process that was difficult? Have you been bottle-fed yourself and have you grown up with a story that breastfeeding is not good, easy or something else? Do you think breastfeeding is a farce and bottle-feeding is easier? Or something completely 4. Be investigative about the reason for your resistance to breastfeeding.

Talk about your expectations together.

And of course you should talk about breastfeeding - preferably before your child is born. Ask your woman what she thinks about breastfeeding. Does she want to breastfeed, what does she know about breastfeeding, etc. And feel free to sit down together and research more about breastfeeding. Because breastfeeding is not just a women's job. Yes, we are the ones who have the breasts. You as a partner, on the other hand, are the most important support. Both in terms of your approach, your practical help and your perspective and your good considerations and input. And breastfeeding is about your child's nutrition, security, nervous system regulation, etc. For breastfeeding is much more than just food and drink.

What can you do to help your partner?

In addition to examining your approach to breastfeeding, acquiring knowledge about breastfeeding, and talking to your woman about breastfeeding, you can specifically do the following once your child is born:

Be present from the very first breastfeeding within the first few hours after birth. Help observe how the baby is positioned, how the baby is swaddling the breast, how the baby's jaws are moving. And also how your woman is best positioned/sitting while breastfeeding. Listen to the midwife's tips and tricks during the first breastfeeding - and ask questions. Get her to explain to you what she is looking for. If you are staying overnight in the maternity ward, be present during the breastfeeding there and ask questions. Because in the future, you are the one who will help your woman see whether the baby is positioned correctly at the breast. Whether the baby is swaddling and sucking correctly. And whether your woman is sitting or lying optimally. Much of this your woman can see or feel herself, but you can see the baby from a different angle.

When a breastfeeding woman looks down at her child, there is a breast in the way of the view of the baby's mouth, jaw, etc. That's where you're worth your weight in gold! Likewise, as a partner, you can see if your woman is sitting and tensing her shoulders, if she needs a pillow under her arm, support under her feet, or something 4., to sit comfortably and relaxed while breastfeeding. It's not at all certain that your woman will notice that she is sitting and tensing up. It's such a loving gesture when you put your hand on her shoulders, so that she notices that they are sitting all the way up to her ears. You can also put a heating pad on her shoulders. It's a welcome support for a woman's breastfeeding shoulders.

Create a calm and safe environment

In addition, it is wonderful if you as a partner bring water, food, a mobile phone or whatever your woman may need when she is breastfeeding. Because breastfeeding makes you thirsty. And breastfeeding takes up many hours of the day, so it may be necessary to eat while breastfeeding.

If you already have a child or children, it can also be a great help to take them out of the house, or to another place in the house, so that there is peace and quiet for breastfeeding. Some babies are disturbed by noise around them. And many new mothers need peace and quiet to focus on breastfeeding without having to deal with siblings at the same time.

The same applies when you have guests. As a partner, you should know that a new mother is full of postpartum hormones for the first 3-4 months after giving birth. Among other things, these hormones make it difficult for your woman to feel her needs and boundaries. So here it is important that you as a partner help create peace around breastfeeding times. For example, you can take the guests into another room and say that now there should be peace for breastfeeding - of course only if your woman wants it.

Dear partner, you are important!

So dear partner, you are important! And it is important that you support breastfeeding, learn about breastfeeding and that you as a couple talk about breastfeeding – including your own thoughts, wishes and feelings. It is not about being “perfect”. It is about being committed, present and (loving) honest. And so practice makes perfect.

Know that I'm rooting for you, dear partner!