As a partner, you are the most important support when it comes to breastfeeding
Yes, you read that right. As a partner, you are incredibly important. Many partners mistakenly believe that they cannot help with breastfeeding. Some even struggle with frustration or irritation about it. But no more! Because soon you will understand how important you are when it comes to breastfeeding your child.
Your attitude affects the breastfeeding journey
First and foremost, you should know that your attitude towards breastfeeding has a major impact on how your child's breastfeeding journey unfolds. If you are opposed to your child being breastfed, or if you think it is a hassle, it will affect the breastfeeding journey. Perhaps you doubt 'Project Breastfeeding'? Or maybe you are totally pro-breastfeeding and have a basic trust that it will go well and smoothly.
What we focus on becomes reality. If you have doubts about breastfeeding, explore where those doubts come from. And discuss your doubts with the consultation midwife and/or health visitor. I would recommend that you avoid 'marinating' your pregnant woman or new mother with your doubts. She is full of emotions and hormones - and perhaps also worries and thoughts. Your doubts will not help her. Instead, educate yourself about breastfeeding. Read, listen to podcasts, participate in breastfeeding classes or something else, so you are well prepared. It will show your woman that you are engaged, inquisitive, and proactive - even if you have doubts.
If you don't believe in 'Project Breastfeeding' at all, be honest with yourself about why. Do you have experience from a difficult breastfeeding journey? Were you bottle-fed yourself and grew up with a narrative that breastfeeding is not good, easy, or something else? Do you think breastfeeding is nonsense and that bottle-feeding is easier? Or something else entirely. Explore the reason for your resistance to breastfeeding.
Talk together about your expectations
And of course, you should talk together about breastfeeding - preferably before your child is born. Ask your woman what she thinks about breastfeeding. Does she want to breastfeed, what does she know about breastfeeding, etc. And feel free to sit down together and learn more about breastfeeding. Because breastfeeding is not just a woman's job. Yes, yes, we are the ones who have breasts. You, as a partner, are the most important support. Both in terms of your attitude, your practical help, and your perspective, good observations, and input. And breastfeeding is about your child's nutrition, security, nervous system regulation, etc. Because breastfeeding is much more than just food and drink.
What can you do to help your partner?
In addition to exploring your attitude towards breastfeeding, acquiring knowledge about breastfeeding, and talking to your woman about breastfeeding, you can specifically do the following when your child is born:
Be right there from the very first feeding within the first few hours after birth. Help observe how the baby lies, how the baby wraps around the breast, how the baby's jaws move. And also how your woman is best positioned while breastfeeding. Listen to the midwife's tips and tricks during the first feeding – and ask questions. Get her to explain to you what she is looking for. If you stay overnight in the maternity ward, be there during the feedings, and ask questions. Because in the future, you are the one who will help your woman see if the baby is positioned correctly at the breast. If the baby wraps and sucks correctly. And if your woman is sitting or lying optimally. Your woman can see or feel a lot of it herself, but you can see the baby from a different angle.
When a breastfeeding woman looks down at her child, a breast is in the way of the view of the baby's mouth, jaw, and more. That's where you are worth your weight in gold! Likewise, as a partner, you can see if your woman is sitting and tensing her shoulders, if she needs a pillow under her arm, support under her feet, or something else, to sit well and relax during breastfeeding. It is not at all certain that your woman will notice that she is sitting and tensing up. It is such a loving gesture when you put your hand on her shoulder, so she notices that they are up by her ears. You can also put a heating pad on her shoulders. It is a welcome support for a woman's breastfeeding shoulders.
Create calm and secure surroundings
In addition to that, it is wonderful if you as a partner bring water, food, the phone, or whatever your woman may need when she is sitting and breastfeeding. Because breastfeeding makes you thirsty. And breastfeeding takes up many hours of the day, so it may be necessary to eat while breastfeeding.
If you already have a child or children, it can also be a big help if you take them out of the house, or to another place in the house, so there can be peace for breastfeeding. Some babies are disturbed by activity around them. And many new mothers need peace to focus on the breastfeeding process without having to deal with siblings at the same time.
The same applies when you have guests. As a partner, you should know that a new mother is full of postpartum hormones for the first 3-4 months after birth. Those hormones make it difficult for your woman, among other things, to feel her needs and boundaries. So here it is important that you as a partner help create peace around the breastfeeding times. For example, you can take the guests into another room and state that now there needs to be peace for breastfeeding - of course only if your woman wants it.
Dear partner, you are important!
So dear partner, you are important! And it is important that you support breastfeeding, educate yourself about breastfeeding, and that you as a couple talk together about breastfeeding – including your own thoughts, wishes, and feelings. It is not about being "perfect". It is about being engaged, present, and (h)onest. And practice makes perfect.
Know that I am rooting for you, dear partner!
Author Siff Stephenson HjerteJordemoderen